I’d like to introduce you to 4 persons: Yamato, Ethan, Jesse and July. The persons living inside my head (some call them different kind of personalitites, I call them persons.)
Yamato is my baby. He is gay and very open about it. He is bright, sunny, happy, always smiling and helping others, a bit of a tease, perky, yet he has his dark side also. He is a bit moody sometimes, but it’s nothing serious, not like Ethan. Even though he is happy, he struggles to find a boyfriend because he is gay and his personalitites usually don’t match with others. But I like him, he is like my twin brother, but more open and social. Blonde hair, blue eyes, dark heavy-rimmed glasses (..I look the same right noe actually :D But my natural hair color is dark brown.)
Ethan. Oooh Ethan. He worries too much and is depressed almost all the time. He blames himself from everything and thus when someone says something bad or hurtful, Ethan takes it all in and angsts, he doesn’t defend himself or brush it off. His mind is constantly worrying over something and he hopes he could change. So far, no results. Yet, there is a sweet side of him, he is very friendly, polite and would never hurt anyone on purpose.Red hair, green eyes, a bit brown skin.
Jesse. He is the angry one. He loves to annoy people and call them by names, and when he gets angry there’s no point trying to stop him. He is a bad boy and loves attention. And I think he is somehow related to July… Apologises from no one, rude and says whatever he wants (sound familiar? I guessed so…) Bows to no one. Hates wussies and weak people. Blonde hair, icy cold grey eyes, wears usually black leather jacket, tight jeans and boots.
July. The power source. Energetic and cheerful, yet when someone pisses her off, she will flip out. And that’s not nice, it’s like 20 angry women on their periods. She, like Jesse, loves attention, so whenever Jesse and July meet… Oh boy. They just love to fight verbally with each other. She is someone I’d love to be, bold, social, gets along well with different kinds of people, she can be kind and gentle when she wants. Great dancer. Red hair, green eyes, wears glasses, loves colorful clothes.
I know it seems weird, how can I describe them so well? Doesn’t it seem like I’m writing character profiles for a fic? But I’m not. Everytime I feel something other than my tru self, one of them start to talk to me. Last night, Ethan and Jesse were fighting inside of my head, since I was really depressed yet angry and I could hear Jesse’s voic SO clearly, he wanted to come out and punch faces. Yet Ethan had the power to start to overthink about everything, thus ende up in a bathroom crying my eyes till they bleeded :D
And I? I am just me, quiet, shy who so wants to meet new people and find a boyfriend and spend my time quietly, yet I can’t (since I am shy and scared of people talking to me.. -___-’)
Way to go life. And please call the men in white jackets to take me to a mental hospital, thxbai~
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